First Therapy Appointment

I had been warned that finding "your" therapist could be quite the struggle. That's one of the reasons it's taken me so long to find one. I've also found it difficult to realize I'm not doing as "well" as I thought. I digress; I have fortunately only had one not so great therapist session. Here's my experience. Enjoy!

(I will be referring to my first therapist as "T" throughout this story and leaving their gender unknown.)

To start off, I chose "T" because of their history of being a caregiver and their aiding people with PTSD from said situations. I was elated to find someone who could relate and help me work through the trauma of my past. (Little did I know.) My first session came around, and I felt very awkward and nervous sitting in the waiting area. I didn't know what to expect, my boyfriend told me they would ease me into it, get to know you and see if there was a "connection" of sorts. My nerves also came from the fact that I was about to be divulging such painful times in my life to a stranger.

Once in the room, it felt cramped, with no windows, dark, bulky furniture, and the waiting room just right outside the door. As for "T," (the main event) they talked to me about confidentiality, so I was aware when and when it did not apply. Then we went right into it. "T" asked me rather quickly about my childhood. They wanted me to use one word to describe my childhood. To which I did open up but on a surface level. Then came a series of assumptions and judgements about my life. I didn't feel free to talk about my life. They would interrupt me to say, "well it's not like this family member did this" or "they were burnt out." When indeed the family member did let those certain things happen, but I didn't feel able to speak openly.

Along with assumptions about my family, came assumptions about me and the whiplash of bouncing from one topic to the next. "T" interrupted me to call me a loner because I didn't/don't have many close friends. Then I was asked who shamed me when I said I was ok not having many friends. They also asked why my mom and I talk about basically everything and have a good relationship. And after that, I was told it was a judgement free environment. (They must have not been in the same conversation I was in.)

Next came religion. When asked about this I said, "I believe in God and the Universe. I don't go to church every Sunday or anything like that." They took upon themselves to assume I was Christian by telling me, "I could play some light Christian music in the background as I did my homework." (We'll get to the homework shortly.) I never claimed any religious denomination. There's nothing wrong with being whatever religion you are, but it was the fact of not listening and assuming who I was without asking me. Which is what so many people have done to me throughout my life because of my age.

Then the incredibly lengthy list of homework I was given. Write a goodbye letter to my grandparents, (Ok, I liked that) make a family tree, (What for?) and then write out my life (first crush, school, etc.) They at least had the self-awareness to say this was a lot and it was ok if I didn't get it all done in a week. I was overwhelmed to say the least.

With all this everything about "T" elicited an ingenuine vibe. The plastered smile, dismissive tone, and pity filled gaze. Nothing welcoming or helpful. We didn't even really have a conversation with solutions or why I may be feeling a certain way, I was defending myself the whole time. Luckily though, "T" didn't discourage me and I found the therapist I have now. They listen, don't judge, and their sessions make me feel lighter and ready to tackle my problems head on. I'm so grateful my one bad experience, was a lesson in what not to look for.

What about you, any therapist horror stories? Share in the comments below. Until next time. Bye!