Lessons Learned....

So, today's post is about remembering to fill your cup too. I'm not sure who needs to hear this but I know I do sometimes. This is a lesson I've learned through family, friendships, and watching my mom and her friendships. Enjoy!

I grew up around adults, whether family friends, my parent's friends, or just family. That has always been my comfort zone. People my age can sometimes make me feel uncomfortable. I believe it's my anxiety. My mom says, it's because I'm an "old soul." I don't know the exact reason though. Anyway, I was able to see how adults act. And how to handle relationships that aren't healthy for you.

Now, I'm not saying to ditch relationships that don't suit you. There will never be a perfect relationship. What I am saying is, don't be a people pleaser. That's not fair to you or the person you're trying to please. This is a cycle that is easy to get into but difficult to break. Say, if you're a giver, don't like confrontation, or unknowingly do it. This story I'm sharing, is one of those rare occasions when it happened to both my mom and I, through means of similar people (this will make sense in a moment.)

So, a little context, my childhood best friend (we'll call her B) and I met in a gymnastics class when we were around 3 years old. In turn, my mom and B's mom met as well. B and I became fast friends and so did our mom's. My house was the first she ever spent the night at, she spent the majority of her summers/childhood at my house, our moms would get together and watch TV shows. My dad traveled for work, so if she was staying over, she came with us. We were both the sisters we never had. We fought, borrowed each other's clothes, and literally grew up together. What I wasn't aware of then, was that B's mom thought we would make great friends because we had a similar homelife. I was being raised by a single mom at the time and so was she. B's mom is a very image focused person. On top of that, she was going back to school, she needed time and space to study. B was someone I always wanted to be around, and my mom treated her as her own, so this never came up, until...

Cut to B's mom being proposed to by B's soon to be stepdad. Keep in my mind, after my dad, my mom stayed single. Things definitely started to change. My mom and I were not invited to the wedding, B's mom would tell my mom that they'd have to get together at her new house and would never follow up, my BFF started treating me as an afterthought, we would make plans to meet up and she always canceled them, she stopped coming to birthdays, and basically started separating herself from me. I understand that this can happen, but it felt like a something else. They both started turning into people my mom and I no longer recognized. This was going on while we were growing into teenagers. Learning more information, it felt less like natural separation and more intentional.

Now a side note, I knew about my BFF's relationship with her father's side of the family. That's not my story to tell but it wasn't great especially with her grandmother. My nana became a grandmother to her as well. This all happened while my family was finding out about my nana's early on-set Alzheimer's. It would've been nice to have my best friend to talk to but alas. We met up a few times during this weird period (on the plans she wouldn't cancel) but we haven't really talked in years. I understand that we were young, but I've never truly understood what happened. I would reach out, send "happy birthdays," ask how they were, etc. and eventually it just became more and more clear that she no longer wanted to be my friend. So, I had to take the hint.

And that's the point of my story today, no person will behave or do how you think they should. That's what makes the world awesome and not so awesome, we're all very different. Sometimes though, you do need to take a step back and make sure your effort is reciprocated as much as it can be. Don't continue to be where you're not wanted. There are more people out there who won't take you for granted. Until next time. Bye!

Lesson Learned: "When people show you who they are, (or who they have become) believe them, the first time." Maya Angelou.