Caregiving...

This story is why my catchphrase is what it is, "A lighthearted blog that can get deep." This is the beginning of my caregiving experience for my nana.

A little context on my nana, she was a great woman, who had a strained relationship with her biological mother. So unfortunately, when her mother figure passed away, her deep depression started. There was no getting her out of it, sadly. My mom plead with my nana constantly to talk about it with her or someone else. She never would, so she sunk further and further until she started to forget.

She was diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer's when I was 13 and passed when I was 19. Once diagnosed, it was an uphill battle. Starting with taking her access to cars away. She felt her independence was being taken from her, which in a way it was. She fought with us tooth and nail when taking her keys. This was hard but the real test began once we left my grandparents' house. My grandfather made it clear that, he had a difficult time caring for her on his own. We had a family meeting, contemplated moving in, and eventually did just that. This felt like the best decision for all parties. Originally the plan was to move into their 3 bed, 2 bath house, but rearranging overstimulated my nana and caused her frustration. With this, we set our sights on the garage and moved in. This honestly became our oasis during six years of caregiving.

What my nana required mainly was supervision. This was a learning curve for us, and my grandfather was against many of the adjustments we needed to make. Her brain was regressing; she wasn't aware what was ok and not ok for her. Say, the laundry room with bleach, laundry detergent, and cleaning supplies, that all needed to be locked away. Kitchen cabinets with spices and such that also needed to be locked up. So, we researched what would be best for this. We found child locks that required magnets to unlock them on the cabinets. Push locks on the pantry and laundry room doors. We had a key to every room in the house. She always had access to her own bedroom, (that was safe for her) the living room, the kitchen, our puzzle room, and the backyard.

A funny story actually, with cabinets and lock and things, and one of the reasons locks were necessary. She would take food out of the fridge. Her favorite item was a pack of Sargento cheddar cheese. She would put this cheese in her underwear drawer. (Very interesting hiding place) Once we saw that, we put a lock on the refrigerator as well.

Later on in our journey, we installed cameras in various places in our home. This allowed us to keep an eye on her while also giving her the freedom to roam. She would understandably become bothered if we constantly checked on her. But it was also necessary to know her where abouts and what she was doing. We also realized, after a few times she left the house, the front door needed a secure lock. We put a lock where a passcode was essential to getting in and out. Of course, all of these steps came after learning her new ways.

There were good days and bad days. Bad days where she had uncontrollable bouts of anger. Days where she would refuse help to stand up off the bathroom floor because she was confused and upset. Times where she loved you so much and days where she outright hated you (and vice versa for us.) But there were times when she'd remember your name or how you were related to her. Or she'd recognize you in a crowd. Days where we'd Hallmark movies in her bedroom while eating vanilla ice cream. Our family would go antique shopping or to Party City to goof around.

Those good moments, caring for someone who was so important to us, the time with her, made it all worth it. I would do it again even with the hard times because I loved my nana so much. She was a gem, a spit fire, and an amazing grandmother. I'm lucky to have had her even if it was shorter than I would've liked. I'm grateful my mom and I were in this together. We're closer and stronger for it. I can only hope to be half the woman my mom is and my nana was.

I do have more caregiving stories I'd like to share. I hope you stick around. And please share your experiences in the comments below. Until next time! Bye!

Lesson Learned: If you are able to help your family in hard times, DO IT!